Cocrear is an Ontological Coaching Consultant. It runs training courses and training in emotional intelligence and communication in order to develop effective, well-being and relationships of individuals, teams and companies. Training and organizational consulting.

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Communicate

        Site Topics: conversation, talk, human, life, the other, the relationship, each other, the real work, the relationship ends, with each other,


"The conversation is basic or essential process that has always cohesive humans." Peter Senge

  

One of the paradoxes that we live in today is that, in the "communication age", there is a strong sense of isolation. Advances in technology (Internet, fax, cell phones, video conferencing, etc..) Reduce distances, reduce times, but have failed to reduce loneliness, lack of mutual understanding, have facilitated solving the problems we have to communicate with each other.

"All human life is happening in conversations and in that space where you create the reality we live."
Humberto Maturana

By focusing on communication as transmission of information, we see the human side of it. That is why we speak of "Conversations" as a way to distinguish the human capacity for language use. It is through conversations (internal and public) that coordinate human action, reflection, we express ourselves, we make sense of the event and our doing, we relate to each other.

"In the talk we construct our reality with the other. It is not an abstract thing. The converse is a particular way of living together in coordination and the thrill of doing. So the talk is a builder of realities."
Humberto Maturana

The quality of conversations we determine the quality of our relationships. For example, many of our relational problems arise when pressed the other to do, or should have done, something that does or did (or should not have done something that he did). Judge (in our internal conversation) the act of another based on our beliefs, our expectations, our desires. Of course, the other do what they do based on their own beliefs, desires, needs. From there arise three basic possibilities in language:

- No talk: Perhaps out of fear, shame, resignation or resentment, we say nothing. We were in our internal conversation where the other person probably does not even know what is happening. All in the level of "inner world" where nothing happens in the story link. The relationship ends up being more and more distant, ineffective, with discomfort.

- Talk inefficiently: We talk about attacking, since the imposition, casting blame, punishing, criticizing, seeking to be right, complaining. No communication but "issuing statements". The relationship ends in a fight, in the mutual destruction, with winners and losers.

- Talk effectively: We speak from what we feel, want and need (and we care for us). With due regard to the other as a legitimate other (so take care to another). We care to listen. We accept that, as human beings make mistakes. We apologize, we call in case of an unfulfilled commitment. Important the relationship and do what we want to do together. Thus, the link is strengthened and deepened, and the common-ic-ation promotes joint action.


 Pablo Buol  
 


 

I speak because I know my needs,
I doubt because I know yours.
My words come from my life experience.
Your understanding comes from yours.
So what I say and what you hear,
may not be the same.
So if you listen carefully,
not just with your ears but also with your eyes and your heart,
reported achievements might.


Herbert. G.Lingren  
 


 

I began to realize that in everyday life spent much time talking. At first I thought this conversation as an obstacle to the 'real' work. I thought the real work was to calculate, organize, schedule ... Then I realized that this conversation was work and that these discussions had consequences. At that time there was the notion of language as invention and constitution of reality, what I call ontological role of language came after.


Fernando Flores
 


 

The leader in promoting talks


Only a few generations ago, as people got older they did with the idea that personal maturity was closely related to the development of skills in "the art of conversation." Although not so long ago, now seems very distant. It was a time when the pace of life was different. It was an era in which to finish the work day, people were sitting and talking. When the oral tradition was alive and the story of old stories had disappeared from daily life. It was also a time when life and relationships are still revolved around connections with each other, simple and full of meaning.

Of course, these simple practices are very ancient. Few seem to be so close to the heart of human communities and to speak and tell the old stories. There is no known indigenous culture that does not engage in conversation sitting in a circle. It seems to be one of the few truly universal practice of mankind.

The very word etymology dialogue and invite us to explore this ancient knowledge. The ancient Greeks were perhaps the last Western culture preserved this idea after the agricultural revolution, the emergence of city-states and modern forms of organization of society. For the Greeks, the "dia-logos", meaning flow, was the cornerstone of civil practice, inseparable from self-government. The polis, or the place where they met to govern, the root of our current policy was not just a physical space designated, and provide conversational space for genuine self-government. The ability to converse, to talk together, formed the basis of democracy, much more important than voting.


Carlos Herreros de las Cuevas

 

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