Cocrear is an Ontological Coaching Consultant. It runs training courses and training in emotional intelligence and communication in order to develop effective, well-being and relationships of individuals, teams and companies. Training and organizational consulting.

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Talking

        Site Topics: talk, talking, person, listening, the speaker, what he says,


"Maturana has been postulated that control the language, is the language that controls us. Like other actions, for example, movement and perception-, language is an emanation of our structure, which in turn determines us ... People can become trapped by their way of using language".
Dr. Patch Adams
 

We live in the chat like fish in water. Our daily life is spent in the middle of conversations (or other internal / s). Write an email, answer another, read, reflect, order, order, discuss, evaluate, question, comment ... Think, speak, listen. Our conversations allow us to coordinate actions, communicate and relate.

We learned to talk about ... What 2 years? Spontaneously learned to listen ... Did we learn, sometimes, to talk?

If we fail to communicate with someone, you probably think "do not understand what I'm saying" and go back say, again and again, same thing. Many times without achieving the desired communication.

Worse still is when we actually release us and later results are unexpected, where dialogs appear as:
- But if I told you ...
- No! What you told me is that ...
- Do you see? At the end always the same, provided resources ...

Before you start a conversation, and if it is important to us, we may consider some points. Such as: Will the other person to listen? Is it a good time to start the conversation? Is it the right place? Are you interested in the topic at hand? And above all learn to observe (and observers) from where I am speaking and listening.

 



We say that the talk is a dance between talking and listening. And we wonder Is there the dance without the dancer? Is there a separate hearing or speech of the person speaking or listening? Expressed in the words of Chilean biologist Humberto Maturana "Everything said is said by someone else and that someone listening might be himself." And from this phrase, which seems so obvious, the conversation begins to take life, not just talking about "the talk", talking about people who talk.

So we began to realize that not only hear the words of the speaker, but his tone of voice, the emotion it conveys, your mood, the position of his body. We begin to hear the unspoken, assumptions, beliefs, judgments, leading to concerns the speaker to say what he says. And the person, the man who speaks thus acquires a fundamental importance, for it is that "someone" who says what he says.

Similarly we see that the person listening becomes relevant. From what emotion or mood I'm hearing? What are my preconceptions about the speaker? How is my relationship with this person? What ideas do I have regarding what you say? How is my body? How does my life say? Do I want? What do I want?

And according to the listener who is being as how it is, it is your interpretation of what is heard and give you a personal sense. Thus, the listener, becomes doubly important, because when we talk we do to be heard. And the person who is listening, actively interpret what we say, gives you a sense, and acts according to this interpretation and meaning.

The conversations we determine our relationships. What we speak and hear, what we say to ourselves, the world of actions determines that it is possible for us. Therefore, the development of our conversational skills can lead to more effective life and wellbeing.

 
   Pablo Buol

 

"We talk too much yourself. We all do.
We maintain our world with our internal dialogue".

Carlos Castaneda


 

What we are is built on our historical conversations about ourselves, including historical narratives in which we are born without being aware of it.

The talks of the life of an individual arising from these historical narratives. They base their interests, capabilities and standards to act and prosecute actions. We're in the midst of these records prior to any action, before you speak or listen to any conversation. 

Fernando Flores

 


The top ten viruses of language

  1. No ordering.

  2. Living with expectations communicated.

  3. Ordering unclear.

  4. Failure to observe the tone of the order.

  5. Promise even when it is not clear what has been requested.

  6. No refuse orders.

  7. Missing the promises without worry: undermining confidence.

  8. Treating the value as it was the truth or as statements (facts).

  9. Making judgments without a rigorous foundation.

  10. Make fantastic claims and statements.


Dr. Matthew Budd


 



Listen

 

There once was a man who had a cabin in the mountains. Every Saturday morning, drove to his cabin by a dangerous road full of curves, abysses without protective fences and deceptive turns.

One Saturday morning, the man went to his cabin. Approaching a bend slow down. Suddenly, on the other side of the curve came a car almost out of control. The car was about to fall into the abyss, but at the last second the driver managed to get it back on the road. The car weaving progressed.

My God, he thought, going to hit me!.

The car was pounced on him badly. Just as I was about to strike, at the last moment, swerved into his lane. As she passed him a woman poked her head out the window and shouted so loudly "Pork !!!".

What, he thought. How dare you call me?He was exasperated by the insult! Instantly shouted, "Cerda !!!", while she continued on her way.

"I was in my line!"It was she who came from one side to another! ", Grumbled. Then began to control his anger, smiled and was pleased for your quick and sharp response." I gave him his due, "he thought very proud.

He then stepped on the accelerator to the floor, picked up speed around the blind curve ...And crashed into the pig!
 


 

Just an Orange

 

When you get two brothers entered the school shouting:
'We want an orange.
There was only one. But, without going into details or find out more, the mother said yes and soon would take the fruit to the dining room.
In the kitchen, cut the orange in half and put both halves on the table.
Seeing their dishes, both children began to mourn.
- What is it? I've been as fair as possible. Why cry?
'I said one of the boys because they just needed to make a shell crafts.
'And I, completed the other-because they just wanted to take the juice.

   

 

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