tell me about your pain: I have no desire to listen today".
Nemer Ibn El Barud
in an ontological coaching conversation or in other areas where we get in touch
with ourselves, we begin to discover our pains, our sorrows, anguish,
loneliness, fear, frustration, disappointment, resentment, ... This experience
is in itself painful. Discover, contact, express our own inner wounds ... hurts
... and released.
We are used to prevent pain. If my hand on a hot stove, the pain makes quickly
withdraw my hand, and by this prevents a greater harm, I can maintain my
physical. In the psychic or emotional sometimes do a similar movement: a
movement that leads us to avoid, deny, reduce pain. Many times we run from pain,
we deny it, ignore it. Others, however, we do exactly the opposite: we stick to
it, take care, feeding, show pride, as if it were our favorite son.
I wonder what today is ... How many times have we heard? As you hear a friend
who has something important to say. How many times we allow ourselves to dwell
on our sorrows from acceptance? Leaving it to be expressed, without making a
movement of rejection, flight, attachment, justification ...
something that happens from here. A place that I deal with my pain, I do not get
ahead, but next, I recognize as their own, I listen, I say it, y. .. I let go.
Do not hold my, do not push, do not deny it. I leave it open, let it be me, let
me be in it.
How many times have we heard another person from this place? Without turning his
face without rejecting it, without trying to fix the problem without advise,
without judging, without distance, without pressure, without demand. Letting
your pain touch our hearts.
There is something special that happens from here. And there is a context for
this to happen. A context of caring, respect, trust, intimacy, contact,
Perhaps, pain free, we must first free the pain ... Do we want to do?
"Blessed is he who knows that pain is a split share and share a joy is
wounds are one of our most valuable assets when it comes to coaching. There is
no coaching from perfection. It is coaching from our wounds".
I already had a good time
writing Memory of Fire, and wrote the more deeper I got into the stories he
told. It was costing me to distinguish the past from the present: what was being
had been and was still around me, and writing was my way of hitting and embrace.
However, it is assumed that the history books are not subjective.
I mentioned to Don José Coronel Urtecho: In this book I'm writing, backwards and
forward, to light and the light, look at it, I noticed at first glance my fights
and my love.
And on the banks of the river San Juan, the old poet told me that fans of
objectivity and must not make the case:
-Do not worry, 'he said. It should be. Those who make a religion of objectivity,
they lie. They do not want to be objective, lie want to be objects, to save
If it recovered to regain
I had to first lose their losses,
whether to get the achievements,
I endured it supported.
If you love to be right now
was necessary to have been injured,
I have suffered long suffered for good,
I have cried I cried for good.
Because after all I've found
has not enjoyed the benefit of
but after having suffered.
Because after all I understand
what the tree has to flower
lives than it has buried.
The brightest things can happen to us in life,
they also have shade.
We've taken so afraid of suffering, living in pain. An author, Ivan Ilich said:
"A society that is sick outrun the pain, produces only pain." Because if I have
a headache and took an aspirin and over again, never hear what you're telling me
the pain. Life communicates with us with very different messages. Sometimes we
talk to a sweet and gentle message, but sometimes it takes a stick on the head.
we just want to learn in the world all is well, we're going to flee to that
reflection which leads to the necessary spaces. I'm not preaching that learning
is only pain, I'm saying that any serious reflection may involve pain. The pain
is part of life. How I can appreciate the wonder of laughter when I know the
tears? How am I going to appreciate the wonder of friendship if I do not know
When humans discover that learning is at the service of life, fall in love, full
of questions, they become luminous. It happens when we talk about has to do with
their pain, their questions, doubts, not just respond to something specific.